How to Grow Gratitude

Earlier this month, I touched on the role gratitude plays in our lives and what we can do to foster a more grateful practice. Today, I think it’s important to expand out and learn how to grow your thanks. But first, a dose of reality.

In today’s climate, sometimes it’s not enough to just say “focus on the positive things in our lives” and expect it to have an actual impact.

In fact, most of the time it’s difficult to even find something for which to be grateful.

That’s when I get reading. I start turning to the inspiration on the page to find something to remind me of what is out there that I can focus my attention on to change my perspective and come up with tangible techniques which we can use to truly transform our lives.

I’m not looking for an easy fix, it’s hard to understand the whys of things, and honestly pursuing the bottom line is a chase that never really results in peace. Not only that, but there are often conflicting ideas from various authors that make it difficult to come up with a secret sauce.

So what have I learned that can help us all really grow gratitude? Especially given everything working against us. Well, there are some key tools I’ve discovered that might help you transform your mindset and enhance the level of gratitude in your life:

Love more, fiercely, deeply, and with commitment

Starting with yourself. When you catch yourself caught up in your story - change the narrative. Know that your cup has to be filled first before you can fill another’s. Then, once you’re feeling all kinds of warm and fuzzy, turn to those around you. Who can you make more time for in your life? It doesn’t take much to make people feel more connected. Text a friend and let them know you’re thinking about them. Find time to grab lunch with someone who you haven’t spoken with in awhile. As humans, we are all built for connection and belonging, so building meaningful relationships with people will help you fuel gratitude as well.

Hug each other, make soup, and pick up litter

Not necessarily in that order. What I actually mean is, be of service. Find ways to give back to those in need in ways that fill you up. For some of us that means volunteering at a local food bank, for others it might like heading to the beach with a trash bag in hand ready to collect litter. For instance, my daughter is a mentor for her peers in her graduate program. She LOVES helping other people achieve their goals and I always see a happier daughter after she volunteers her time to help them - that’s her gratitude growing! Whatever it is for you, make it a regular part of your practice. Do it daily, if possible, and watch your own gratitude grow.

We practice random acts of kindness and we feed the dog

Have you ever paid it forward by buying a coffee for someone behind you in line at your coffee shop? If you haven’t, I highly recommend the practice. It seems counter-intuitive, but helping someone else see the good of humanity actually fuels my own gratitude. I love seeing the look on a strangers faces when their normal coffee run suddenly becomes a reminder of the good in the world. When we go about our normal routine, like feeding the dog, but throw in some random acts of kindness, our perspectives change. We do our normal tasks with more enthusiasm and joy as gratitude grows within us.

We tell someone how much we love them

Reminding the people in our lives that we love them stimulates a similar feeling of gratitude. What can you do to speak someone else’s love language? Here are some easy (and fun!) ideas: write someone a handwritten note (read more about this one here), spend some quality time with a friend over a cup of tea, complete a chore to help out your significant other, or any other small token of gratitude for those in your life that support you. I personally love making our family’s favorite meal - Uncle Vinny’s Chicken - The more you do this, the more you’ll feel gratitude begin to stir within you and take the place of any false beliefs in your life.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, it’s easy to neglect these types of soul-filling activities. As a society, we are trained that value comes from spending countless hours at the office, working into your personal time is considered a badge of honor. But what if we took that time back? What if we all grew our gratitude for ourselves and one another collectively? What a different world that would look like.

I know that people are good at heart and that good always wins the day, but sometimes we forget. We forget because we drift away from our practice of gratitude. Gratitude helps us all remember that God is good all the time while helping us notice more things to be grateful for.

I’d love to hear what you’re grateful for today. Let me know in the comments.


Want even more gratitude inspiration? Check out Gratitude Grows on Vision's YouTube channel!

Fostering Gratitude's Power

Fostering gratitude within us fuels a more pleasant state of being. We are powered by gratitude.

That being said, in practice, it’s harder than just being grateful for everything in our lives. Sometimes, we get a nasty 2x4 experience and it’s not easy to say thanks to the universe for the not-so-gentle wake up call. But, even in those moments of struggle where we cannot seem to find anything for which to be thankful, we can remember what Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.”

All things. Even those magical hit-you-in-the-face experiences. You know what I’m talking about. The things we want to forget but can’t seem to let go. The time you forgot to bring your homework to school, the time you let your team down at work, the call with the bad news that shook your life, the time you chose to do nothing and it backfired. They all advanced you in some way.

But gratitude can make you happier. It’s powerful that way. 

Even if it doesn’t directly shape your circumstances right away, it changes you from the inside. 

When I decided I was ready to move to California, I timed the exact right moment to step into my boss’ office to put in my two weeks notice. It would be on a Friday. Unfortunately, my boss ended up calling me in early and letting me go before I even had the chance to follow through with my plan! 

I was absolutely mortified. Nobody fires ME! My ego was inflamed and my emotions were pumping. It took me a while to finally calm down, but once I did, I kicked it into high-gear.

I took full advantage of this extra time off from work. I looked at all my options in California, giving myself the opportunity to truly get the best fit, rather than just what was available. Although nobody truly wants to be laid off, I look back on this experience fondly, knowing that it worked out for the absolute best. 

There are times where life will shake you to your core, but it is in those moments that you can turn to gratitude. Gratitude helps reinforce our practice of fostering happiness from within rather than seeking it externally. 

The power of gratitude can even overcome the most fundamental false belief we carry within us: our “not-enough-ness.” You know, that little voice in the back of our heads that acts up and reminds us how unimportant and unworthy we are? We try to tackle the vicious cycle of insufficiency, but we never really dig in deep enough to solve the cause.  

There are some steps which you can take to step into the power of your gratitude and it starts with releasing: 

1. Release Your False Beliefs 

In the class, Principles of Financial Freedom, we do a process called Fear to Faith, and one of the parts of that process is a prayer called the Releasing Prayer. I encourage you to try it out on your path to a more grateful life: 

It is a three line prayer made by the one praying.

The first line says, 

I release my belief in___________. 

This is the false belief we were invested in.

The second line is,

I release my need to ________________. 

This is the way we act out in the world, the thing we do to try to push away the feelings that false belief sets up in us.

The third and last line says,

I am grateful God is the ___________, I am.

This process will help you identify your false belief, identify how we try to cover it up, and reinforce the Truth that we are the good God is, in form. 

2. Keep a Daily Gratitude Journal 

I find that writing down my thanks helps embed the feeling of gratitude in me. This process could be as easy as writing out the title on the top of a page in your journal “Today, I am grateful for” and each day write one sentence. You’ll see how quickly your attitude starts to shift as you cultivate a long list of reasons to be grateful. As an alternative, you can create a gratitude jar. Grab an empty (and clean!) jar and tear up some colorful paper. Each day, write one reason to be grateful and toss it into the jar. It’s pretty fun to see it fill up and it becomes a cute piece of decor as well. 

3.  Express Your Thanks to Someone Daily

With the help of technology, this can be as easy as shooting over a text to a friend (feel free to sprinkle in emojis or a well-chosen gif). If you’re feeling old-school, pick up a cute card and write a quick note of thanks to someone. My daughter makes this a regular part of her work life. For her summer internship, she wrote out an individual letter of thanks to everyone on her entire 40+ person team! You’ll be surprised how much of an impact it can have on the person receiving your thanks and of course, as a bonus, you’ll start feeling more grateful as well! 

4. Express Gratitude Towards Yourself 

Ah, the toughy. Most people are their own worst critics, which likely boils down to that false belief I mentioned earlier. So, what can we do to thwart that? Well, try standing in the mirror and point out the things about yourself for which you are grateful. Been working out? Be thankful that your body is strong and capable. Love your smile? That’s right you do, you light up a room! Have you recently completed a project at work? You go, Glen Coco!  Love to push yourself? Your tenacity is boundless! There are so many things about yourself, you can go all-out! 

Pulling It All Together

Completing these steps on a daily basis (or choose your favorite) can lift your level of gratitude and start to change you. It is the cultivation of this gratitude that deconstructs our false belief of not-enough-ness. The Power of An Idea says,  “Gratitude is not only a virtue but it also is part of a practical philosophy of daily life” (p. 26.1). It is our spiritual practice to raise the set point of gratitude to include even those things that we may not necessarily label as “good” because we are gratitude powered beings. We welcome all situations into our experience as we dwell in a state of gratitude. 

I invite you to be grateful today, one step at a  time, and feel its power transform you.

Want even more gratitude inspiration? Check out Gratitude Power on Vision's YouTube channel!

Let me know in the comments what you are doing to foster gratitude in your life!