How to Grow Gratitude

Earlier this month, I touched on the role gratitude plays in our lives and what we can do to foster a more grateful practice. Today, I think it’s important to expand out and learn how to grow your thanks. But first, a dose of reality.

In today’s climate, sometimes it’s not enough to just say “focus on the positive things in our lives” and expect it to have an actual impact.

In fact, most of the time it’s difficult to even find something for which to be grateful.

That’s when I get reading. I start turning to the inspiration on the page to find something to remind me of what is out there that I can focus my attention on to change my perspective and come up with tangible techniques which we can use to truly transform our lives.

I’m not looking for an easy fix, it’s hard to understand the whys of things, and honestly pursuing the bottom line is a chase that never really results in peace. Not only that, but there are often conflicting ideas from various authors that make it difficult to come up with a secret sauce.

So what have I learned that can help us all really grow gratitude? Especially given everything working against us. Well, there are some key tools I’ve discovered that might help you transform your mindset and enhance the level of gratitude in your life:

Love more, fiercely, deeply, and with commitment

Starting with yourself. When you catch yourself caught up in your story - change the narrative. Know that your cup has to be filled first before you can fill another’s. Then, once you’re feeling all kinds of warm and fuzzy, turn to those around you. Who can you make more time for in your life? It doesn’t take much to make people feel more connected. Text a friend and let them know you’re thinking about them. Find time to grab lunch with someone who you haven’t spoken with in awhile. As humans, we are all built for connection and belonging, so building meaningful relationships with people will help you fuel gratitude as well.

Hug each other, make soup, and pick up litter

Not necessarily in that order. What I actually mean is, be of service. Find ways to give back to those in need in ways that fill you up. For some of us that means volunteering at a local food bank, for others it might like heading to the beach with a trash bag in hand ready to collect litter. For instance, my daughter is a mentor for her peers in her graduate program. She LOVES helping other people achieve their goals and I always see a happier daughter after she volunteers her time to help them - that’s her gratitude growing! Whatever it is for you, make it a regular part of your practice. Do it daily, if possible, and watch your own gratitude grow.

We practice random acts of kindness and we feed the dog

Have you ever paid it forward by buying a coffee for someone behind you in line at your coffee shop? If you haven’t, I highly recommend the practice. It seems counter-intuitive, but helping someone else see the good of humanity actually fuels my own gratitude. I love seeing the look on a strangers faces when their normal coffee run suddenly becomes a reminder of the good in the world. When we go about our normal routine, like feeding the dog, but throw in some random acts of kindness, our perspectives change. We do our normal tasks with more enthusiasm and joy as gratitude grows within us.

We tell someone how much we love them

Reminding the people in our lives that we love them stimulates a similar feeling of gratitude. What can you do to speak someone else’s love language? Here are some easy (and fun!) ideas: write someone a handwritten note (read more about this one here), spend some quality time with a friend over a cup of tea, complete a chore to help out your significant other, or any other small token of gratitude for those in your life that support you. I personally love making our family’s favorite meal - Uncle Vinny’s Chicken - The more you do this, the more you’ll feel gratitude begin to stir within you and take the place of any false beliefs in your life.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, it’s easy to neglect these types of soul-filling activities. As a society, we are trained that value comes from spending countless hours at the office, working into your personal time is considered a badge of honor. But what if we took that time back? What if we all grew our gratitude for ourselves and one another collectively? What a different world that would look like.

I know that people are good at heart and that good always wins the day, but sometimes we forget. We forget because we drift away from our practice of gratitude. Gratitude helps us all remember that God is good all the time while helping us notice more things to be grateful for.

I’d love to hear what you’re grateful for today. Let me know in the comments.


Want even more gratitude inspiration? Check out Gratitude Grows on Vision's YouTube channel!